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It not a joke!!! It is the truth!!!

Giving people what they want: violence and sloppy eating

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A cutlass. Yes, I can think of some uses for a cutlass.
mini me + poo
lovingboth
Sod talk like a pirate day, today is obviously Lemming Pedestrian day, a chance to leap off pavements regardless of what's going along the road.

Rye Lane is pretty bad for this on most days - you have to cycle in the middle of the road, or you don't stand a chance of missing them.

But today... I'm somewhat surprised I only hit one.

Two of them come out, from behind an illegally parked van - it clearly being crucial that they cross the road there, rather than at the two zebra crossings less than 100m away... or indeed say 10m away, where they can see what's coming and everyone can see them.

All the following happens in about two seconds.

I see them, and I can see they don't see me. Slow down.

But oops there's a noise of a vehicle behind, so stopping suddenly is probably a bad idea for me. Given the choice, I'd much rather it hit them, with me out of danger, than it hit me first.

[It turns out later that it was turning a corner another way, but there was no time to check that then.]

There's a big gap between them, so let's go through it.

Except the second one, who clearly has zero chance of making it across the road alive, looks, sees someone on a bike about to go in front of her... and decides to speed up. And the first one stops.

Ooops, the gap's going... still can't go behind the second... try to swing around in front of the first one, combined with Emergency Stop!

Thud.

The side of my mouth hits her head just as I come to a stop. Slow speed, but ow. She goes over, I go ow some more, bleeding.

Resist various temptations. Ow. She's shaken but ok. Ow. Resist several more. Ow.



And to the mother who was urging her reluctant pre-schooler across the road.. there was a reason she wasn't moving, you stupid shitbag. She at least knows to look before she steps out.


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They are all lemmings.
I agree with you.

The ones I can't stand are the ones who walk in the cycle lanes in the mornings on the way into Oxford.

And when it rains, well, what with their hoods up and their brollies and their steamed up glasses...we haven't a hope in hell...

Oxford seems to attract them for some reason! There's the oblivious pedestrians who wander into the cycle lane just as you're trying to pass them. And then there's the suicidal pedestrians (and other cyclists) who think that, because a street is "buses & taxies only", they don't need to look before stepping off the curb (riding across the road)! I'm surprised more of them don't end up squished!

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