November 30th, 2003

mini me + poo

Unnecessary remakes, #265

On the 'coming soon' board at the cinema last night, March 2004: Dawn of the Dead.

Oooh? A re-release of George Romero's 1978 classic? Perhaps even in a '25th anniversary edition'? No-one would be silly enough to attempt to remake it, surely??

Yep, they are.

With a script by someone who's main claim to fame is the story for the dire Scooby Doo live-action film.

What's the betting that the original's deep dark sense of humour, and serious points about consumerism and survival have gone? (Ah, looking at the trailer, zombies are now all singing, all dancing. Gargh.)

Oh well, the net means I can now see the couple of seconds of splatter the UK censors keep cutting, and say 'they're mad'. One exploding head towards the start of a film with long sequences dripping with splatter, including lots of other head hits (come on, these are zombies who can only be stopped by head wounds) was never going to damage anyone. I'd love to see the censor's notes for this one...
  • Current Mood
    shocked shocked
mini me + poo

So what were you in the cinema to see?

Master and Commander. It's really rather good.

In fact, so good that my brain's 'that's CGI, that's in a studio, that looks like a model, that's probably live' bit switched off to enjoy the ride. Which it never did for Crowe's Gladiator, for example.

And unlike Gladiator, there are only a couple of anachronistic moments, including probably the most ignorant question ever to be asked on a Royal Navy warship in the days of sail. But even that wasn't milked - there wasn't a long-winded explanation in answer to the question.

And my brain's 'plot point!!' bit was absolutely right when Collapse ) But given what could have been done to it, like sticking a woman in disguise on board to provide some romantic involvement, for example, those were minor.

I was left hoping it would be the start of a series... which doesn't often happen.
  • Current Mood
    pleased pleased
mini me + poo

Nice work, pity about the website

It turns out that the models in Master & Commander were done by Weta Workshop, who did lots of work on the LotR films (another example where I kept going 'CGI, studio, looks like a model, probably live' etc).

So I looked up their website to see where to send a message of congratulations.

But hmmm. The menu's broken in numerous ways. It doesn't work at all in Mozilla. And in IE6, most of the links are broken.

The partner Weta Digital site 'works' in that sense, but is awful in other ways: Flash style over content.

I suppose "nice work, pity about the website" is an improvement on the other way around, but it still doesn't look good.

Let's see what excuse the webmaster has.
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed
mini me + poo

Sexy moments

I'm quite glad I didn't actually tape this. I'd have been going 'oi, noooo'.

I mean, yes, Basic Instinct (#5). I loved it. I loved it so much that, when I next went to the US, I bought an ice pick.

But the next good one is at #15: Rocky Horror Picture Show. Then we're waiting for #32 Bound, #36 Trainspotting, #38 This Life (UK TV series), #43 Body Heat, #45 Last Tango In Paris, and #47 Secretary in the top 50. That's 8 out of 50.

Beyond that, apart from a couple I'll mention in a moment, there's only #51 Risky Business, #52 The Name Of The Rose (the TV version darkens the sex scene, so you can't see that Slater's willy is definitely flaccid, making it a curious example of censorship making a scene more erotic!), #65 The Avengers - Diana Rigg, yumm, #75 American Gigolo - Richard Gere yumm, and #91 The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover, curiously the only Greenaway.

So, why so low for..

#55 Don't Look Now - should have been top five for that 'realistic because it was for real' scene,

#76 The Tall Guy - should have been top ten, and not just because I think Emma Thompson is very yummy.

Fascinating to see #48 Debbie Does Dallas as the top 'porn' film, with Caligula and a Mary Millington the only others.

... but the fabulous remake of Cat People is nowhere?? Nastassja Kinski being fucked while tied to a bed? What more do you want?? Malcolm McDowell, John Heard and Annette O'Toole? Yep, all of them are in it too.

I did like the comment for # 92. Jism (2002): "Bollywood's not known for the explicit sexual content of its films, which is why the appearance of Jism on our screens is something of a surprise." Oh dear, oh dear :)