I'm more or less ok, and realise that my sister who lives in the same town, has had it worse.
The bit that does upset me is the grandchildren issue - my maternal grandmother had her children early and got to see eleven grandchildren grow up, all but one basically happy. We had her. That's not been the case here, my neice and nephew are 13 and 14, and JoJo's still four, and it feels like both sides lose. It's also reminded me that I'm unlikely to see grownup grandchildren.