It not a joke!!! It is the truth!!!

Giving people what they want: violence and sloppy eating

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I threw it all away for a fromage frais
mini me + poo
lovingboth
Well, nearly.

Reading about a fight in another place reminded me of the three big ones L and I've had.

The first was just before the Greenwich BiCon, when I finally confessed to L about having slept with a mutual friend. That wasn't the problem - it was the not telling earlier. I was afraid Roberta would find out (the delightful sex in question had happened while Roberta was away, and almost the first words out of her mouth on her return were to say that I Absolutely Must Not Do what she didn't know I just had...)

The second resulted from not spotting L when I arrived at a swimming pool, and started my swim, not realising that she was waiting outside.

The third was over the fromage frais. L wanted it, I ate it. It was apricot flavour, quite nice but certainly not worth losing a relationship over.

All rather silly really. But ghod did they hurt.

Isn't it odd that people who have safewords when playing various sex games don't use them in Real Life? Especially when they're being hurt, saying they're being hurt and the other person isn't listening for whatever reason.

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I need a Real Life safeword right now.

The problem is, when people do hurtful things in Real Life, their actions are usually not motivated by any desire to give you pleasure in the first place, so informing them that they're not giving you pleasure and that you want them to stop doesn't seem to have much effect.

TBH I suspect that actually saying "safeword" to a sadomasochist, under such circumstances, would have quite a powerful "snapping out of it" effect. The mental restriction of not going past a safeword runs pretty deep. I've seen it used when someone was "humourously" tickling someone else and ignoring cries of "no" and "stop", and it worked very dramatically.

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